its all been done

Every time I think of you I see things that slipped from my hands like sand through my fingers.

You have not one name and face, but several.

There are not many any reasons for me to turn my head and observe those landmarks which had been abandoned along the road, but none the less...I still do. I suppose for no other reason but nostalgia and nostalgia alone.

I think about them rarely, but when they surface in the corners of my mind they bring a soft pain to serve as a reminder. A reminder of mistakes.

And also as a reminder of triumph in the dark times.

I dare not say farewell to these scattered thoughts, events, and memories; for they are the fabric of which my life is woven. In whatever strange pattern they change and effect my soul...

Katie Holmes made me not "Get Happy"

So...hate me if you want but I HAD to get this out!!!!


For those of you who caught the results show for SYTYCD this week (being Thursday July 23rd) then you were given the pleasure, or the unfortunate chance, to watch Katie Holmes make a COMPLETE and TOTAL mockery out of all that is good in the eyes of the "stage".


I mean, really lady...
that was a very poor choice on the creative side of the show but....she was still totally awful!
Not only was the the song prerecorded in a studio, but her voice could not have withstood even the slightest bit more of filtering or editing. Her lip sync looked like a drag queen at Pulse on amateur night! And I'm going to stop now without even getting into her "dancing"...I think that display speaks for itself...


I know this was really harsh but it just frustrates me that she can be looked at and applauded for that...just because she is signing a check for a dance foundation...get real.


and one last thing....
in the interview Katie described her piece:
"this is sort of an homage to Judy Garland" ....BITCH Judy was ROLLING over in her grave!!! u dumped shit out an a classic Judy performance!


i leave you now to compare for yourselves.

observation II

So i recently had a conversation in my car with two close friends of mine over some cigarettes and good music.

Within this little meeting of the minds the topic on display was "the conversations that go on at work." Understanding the place in which we work is crucial to understanding the following blog...and that place is Walt Disney World Entertainment. Honestly, i believe this is something you can find in any environment, but especially in entertainment anywhere world wide but even more so an epidemic in the microscopic self-righteous bubble of WDW entertainment.

The topic, in a more specific glance, was pertaining to people's private lives and how others find joy in putting those things on display. Not to say, that i have never asked some one a personal question just so that I have the self-assurance of being "in the know" and then immediately turned around and handed it out to others to display that self-assurance, this is an act that I am most definitely guilty of. Its something that I believe everyone has made a habit of at one time or another, and no matter how much u believe you haven't, you have. Its something I have been making a conscious effort to adjust in my life...and admitting that is no small feat for me.

The conversation eventually came the particular subject of not only having people reveal your private information to others but, turning your down falls into gossip or the newest joke.

--You have now become the latest victim of the headline in the tabloid...or the head liner subject on a touring comedian's act. People want to know more and more--
...and why? why the need? I've asked myself that question many times...no answer back yet.

The saddest part is the means in which these most personal moments are dug out of people by those who wish to be "in the know". People tell you that you can trust them...that they care about your well being....that they understand and want to help...that they are so happy for you...
whatever it takes to get the intimate information they need to continue feeding the cycle "self-assurance".

In a separate conversation i had before this one a friend of mine told me some advice that was given by a woman who had had experienced her fair share of this "scene" in this very same place. She said, in a round about way, to keep your life to yourself...share it with those you know will always respect and care for you...people may tell you that they are happy for you, when the truth is they only want to know more about the inner workings of your life to help feed the hope that you will fall and fail.

In the same hand....people talk...and that's no reason to shut yourself up like a hermit not allowing anyone to truly know "you"....and i DO NOT believe that i work in Satan's gossip playground by any means....i don't think anyone, or at least most, does this type of thing to be out right AWFUL...its just something that happens....

When things do become public knowledge, and by things i mean the down falls and embarrassing moments, be careful how quick you are to laugh and scoff at others bleeding, wounded hearts. Or even how quick you are to pass the information around so others may join in on the spectacle.

Just today I did that exact thing. I found myself snickering at and commenting on a situation which I found to be quite a laugh...but I did so with others around me...and one was very quick to remind me that it may not be all that funny...that some one is suffering from the same situation I was finding humor in repeating to others. As i said before..I'm working on it.

And UNDERSTAND, I am by NO MEANS a NUN! trust me I'm not saying its the end of the world if it happens....I mean that's life and its to be expected...it keeps the world going 'round. Just think a little bit longer about what you are going to say before you just let that juicy info FLY RIGHT OUT YO MOUTH. lol



thaks for reading my randomness!

observation of the week

I have found that life never fails to place me in endless awe of how things change.

So often, i openly admit to being blown away by the constant and dramatic "changes" that make up day to day life. But of all the different types of "change" the ones that mystify and confuse me the most are the changes that occur in relationships.

How is it that two people can at one point in time be the closest friends the earth has ever known and then gradually ,without any explosion of emotion, the two dissipated into an acquaintanceship?

How can a couple of over 30 years suddenly find themselves loathing the person who, for the majority if their life, has brought them the greatest joy they have ever experienced?

How does the sworn off enemy become the devoted friend or gentle lover?

Of course i do in fact know the answer to these questions. People change. But never the less even though one change causes a chain reaction of changes in one's life...the questions how and why will still echo in the back of the mind.

Regardless of this observation be thankful for every change in life...whether it be a positive or a negative...more specifically....be thankful for what the change brings to your life:

a lesson learned
a joyful memory
a new direction
a new friend
a new love
a reason to live
a goal to strive for

everything molds you into who you are. we are all in a state of perpetual motion. everyday and every moment growing to new understanding and becoming a person...even until the day we die.


Second observation for the week
I hate trying to open individually wrapped cold medication!!!! Even though they have labeled the small plastic and foil packages with "peel here" instructions....it is still completely impossible!!! The small flap of the corner, which has supposedly been cut for easy access to the pill, breaks right off when someone tries to peel it off. Its like trying to rob a bank just to get a "Tylenol pm cold"! Maybe people wouldn't do real drugs if it was this damn hard trying to get to them!!!! lol