A twinge of Indigo sunrise from the Gemini next to me in bed

I recently read a piece that really cut me to the core. I wrote it out of frustration and anger and pain. The object of this writing was another but upon a second glance I realize there was more in the piece about myself than there ever could've been about the other. The words drug on crying of pain and a broken heart per usual what less is to be expected from this dramatic romantic gay boy that I am.  He talked about how much of a fool I am how much before I've always been. How I felt rejected and made a fool for all those around me to gauk and laugh. The one line that sticks out of my mind now is "you spit my love back at me. Spewing it out as bitter and sour as you could make it leaving it to sting and Burn And blind the eyes."
What is fortunate thing that I was already blind long before the sting settled into my eyes deep and strong.
Reading to the peace again and again I realized all the things I had to say about you were the same things I had to say about me. These twists and turns I swear your personality made. The forced ups and downs and fabricated fear. The betrayal. They could all just as easily be said by me about me. After writing this to her three page piece of work and, when I say two or three pages I mean two three notepad pages in the iPhone, with such depth and forcity only one good thing came of it. At the end of the piece I spoke about how I would always do anything for you. How my sacrifice for your happiness was a task that I would gladly take on again and again every day. How even after all the things that have happened even if they are only fabricated in my mind the pain that I felt the trail that I've seen and the hurt that I live I still only want to see that smile. Even if, actually most of all, that smile is not gifted to me. Whether it was a make-believe land or a true to life All My Children I felt the true self sacrifice of loving someone. When you have true love in your heart for another person you were quite literally be willing to lay your life down on the tracks for them. I know now what it feels like to give up everything you have in hopes that you will make someone else happy I'm doing it willingly. Even if we were to walk away from each other this very second me with the gushing wound in my side I would still hope that anything I could do would make you smile someway.
I can only hope and pray that in the future I come to a greater understanding of what this was, what we were and who I am in this crazy world. Even if I never understand another stitch of it I am more than grateful for the time that I was gifted to spend with you.
Thank you Sweet Boy.